Chilakak

So, when being among the crowd are you unnoticed by the hot hunks around?

How about the feeling of being ignored? Sick of it?

Why would you want to be unnoticed on the sidelines while others are picked to the dance floor when you go clubbing?

Overlooked! Forgotten! Islanded! All these can be avoid if and only if you….

Get a new scarf ! !

Try the latest scarf fashion and you too will be the center of attention… Dial 1-800-BEN-WITH-SCARF

New Scarf In Town

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Ever wonder why us Asian belittled by the West? Because we can’t even score an open goal like that. Make it worse, both countries Uzbekistan vs Qatar are from Asian.

Two words to describe this “Chilakak Betul”

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Look at the cheese created from human breasts – the human milk

Link here

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Poor Guy

Rich Guy

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In conjunction with the MATTAfair (from 12th March 2010 – 14th March 2010), we here at Chilakak would like to present you our latest vacation package. It is the most sought after cruise vacation and we received a lot of request from the local too. Even Star Cruise, Virgo Cruise and whatever cruise that you all been dreaming of, is far away compared with our cruise.

Unfortunately, we don’t have a booth at the Putra World TRade Centre (PWTC) as we were late to contact the Matta (Malaysian Association of Tour and Travel Agents) organizing committee to book a booth. Nonetheless, you can contact us to book a seat today! Haste not.

Here’s the one and only cruise vacation package we offered :-

Somali Pirate Hunting Cruise
Fun for the Whole Family

Pirates Hunting Cruise

We sail up and down the coast of Somalia waiting to get hijacked by pirates. We encourage you to bring your ‘High powered weapons’ along on the cruise. If you don’t have weapons of your own, you can rent them on the boat.

$800.00 US/per day double occupancy (4 day max billing).
M-16 full auto
\rental: $25.00/day .ammo: 100 rounds of 5.56 armor piercing ammo at $15.95.

Ak-47 assault riffle
\rental: No charge. ammo: 100 rounds of 7.62 com block ball ammo at $14.95.

Barrett M-107 .50 cal sniper riffle
\rental: $55.00/day. ammo: 25 rounds 50 cal armor piercing at $9.95.

RPG
\rental: $75/day. ammo: 3 standard loads at $200.

Mounted Mini-Gun
\rental $450.00 per 30 seconds of sustained fire.

Crew members can double as spotters for $30.00 per hour (spotting scope included).

“Everyone gets use of free complimentary night vision equipment and coffee and snacks on the top deck from 7pm-6am.”

Meals are not included.

Somali Pirates - Professionals

“We guarantee that you will experience at least two hijacking attempts by pirates or we will refund back half your money including gun rental charges and any unused ammo (mini gun charges not included).. Cabin space is limited so respond quickly. Reserve your package before July 29 and get 100 rounds of free tracer ammo in the caliber of your choice.”

As if all that isn’t enough to whet your appetite, here are a few testimonials

“I got three confirmed kills on my last trip. I’LL never hunt big game in Africa again. I felt like the Komandant in Schindlers list!”—- Lars, Hamburg Germany

“Six attacks in 4 days was more than I expected. I bagged three pirates and my 12 yr old son sank two rowboats with the minigun. PIRATES 0 -PASSENGERS-32! Well worth the trip. Just make sure your spotter speaks English”
—-Ned, Salt Lake city, Utah USA

“I haven’t had this much fun since flying choppers in NAM. Don’t worry about getting shot by pirates as they never even got close to the ship with those weapons they use and their shitty aim–reminds me of a drunken ‘juicer’ door gunner we picked up from the motor pool back in Nam”
—-”chopper’ Dan, Toledo USA.

“Like ducks in a barrel. They turned the ship around and we saw them bleed and cry in the water like little girls. Saw one wounded pirate eaten by sharks–what a laugh riot!! This is a must do.
—–”Stud Jerkins, Cut & Shoot, TX USA

Are you ready?

source : somalicruises

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A blonde went into a world wide message centre to send a message to her mother overseas.

When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: “I don’t have any money.” But I’d do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother.”

The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect).

“Anything?” he asked.

“Yes, yes, anything” the blonde promised.

Well, then, “Just follow me” said the man as he walked towards the next room.
The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.
” Come in and close the door” the man said.

She did.

He then said “Now get on your knees.”

She did.

“Now take down my zipper.”

She did.

“Now go ahead … Take it out…..” He said.

She reached in and grabbed it with both hands .

Then paused.

The man closed his eyes and whispered ..

“Well … Go ahead.”

The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it close to her lips, …. …tentatively said ….
“Hello. Mum, can you hear me?”

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Took my elderly dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 84). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours: green , red , orange , and blue .

My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked: ‘What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?’

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one.

And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response:

‘Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.’

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When you purchase your bike, make sure the color of bike seat is taken into consideration!

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These are actual peppers from a garden.
They are called ‘Willy Peppers’..

Hot hot hot!!!

It is said that these peppers can grow up to 18″ long. Bring tears to the eyes huh?

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The lower you are, the more shit you get.
The one & only very top guy never get shitted on!

Same concept of “never spit at heaven, it will hit you back”.

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