Chilakak

A blonde went into a world wide message centre to send a message to her mother overseas.

When the man told her it would cost $300, she exclaimed: “I don’t have any money.” But I’d do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother.”

The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect).

“Anything?” he asked.

“Yes, yes, anything” the blonde promised.

Well, then, “Just follow me” said the man as he walked towards the next room.
The blonde did as she was told and followed the man.
” Come in and close the door” the man said.

She did.

He then said “Now get on your knees.”

She did.

“Now take down my zipper.”

She did.

“Now go ahead … Take it out…..” He said.

She reached in and grabbed it with both hands .

Then paused.

The man closed his eyes and whispered ..

“Well … Go ahead.”

The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it and while holding it close to her lips, …. …tentatively said ….
“Hello. Mum, can you hear me?”

Popularity: 1% [?]

Took my elderly dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes (he is 84). We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colours: green , red , orange , and blue .

My dad kept staring at him. The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked: ‘What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?’

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one.

And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response:

‘Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.’

Popularity: 3% [?]

When you purchase your bike, make sure the color of bike seat is taken into consideration!

Popularity: 5% [?]

These are actual peppers from a garden.
They are called ‘Willy Peppers’..

Hot hot hot!!!

It is said that these peppers can grow up to 18″ long. Bring tears to the eyes huh?

Popularity: 19% [?]

The lower you are, the more shit you get.
The one & only very top guy never get shitted on!

Same concept of “never spit at heaven, it will hit you back”.

Popularity: 5% [?]

NINE SCARY WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing : This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead : This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!
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Popularity: 15% [?]

With numbers of religions on the face of the Earth, some might not able to conceive what happens to them when they died. Will they go up to heaven? What will they see?

Someone have the answer for this. Click here

Popularity: 7% [?]

Imagine you go on a trip with your personal assistant – the so-called PA. It was purely on a business trip. You get your PA to prebooked 2 rooms. One for you and the other for her. But they had only 1 left when you check-in on that day.

You shrugged and told your PA that she can take the couch. Or being a gentleman, you offered her your bed. She smiled sheepishly and she meekly follows you into the room.

Would you throw caution to the wind and enjoy your time with your PA?

Would she enjoy you? Or was all this setup by her into her entrapment?

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Popularity: 11% [?]

Now this is simply absurd… or is it?

I think they called it a Shinto shrine. It is frequently referred to as the “penis shrine”, or “Japanese penis festival”, primarily due to the ancient Hounen Matsuri (a festival celebrating fertility and renewal), which is held every March 15th.

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Popularity: 11% [?]

They say the idle mind is the devil’s playground. Electronic engineers must be pretty bored.

Wouldn’t it be cool if the LEDs actually lights up? Might as well do a “stop motion” or the “gif” effect would be good. Get those nerdy electronic engineers horny as hell.

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Popularity: 9% [?]